From miles away

Wednesday, August 16, 2017 || 9:27 PM

I seem to find comfort in weird places and unexpected people.

Be it in a distant friend or an ex-nemesis - strangely enough, company finds you in peculiar situations. Have I fallen too deep? Or have I gotten too desperate? Or maybe... Did I finally realise that I deserve more than this? 

Whatever it is, it doesn't matter anymore, does it? I detest myself so much right now for being too smiley. Maybe I shouldn't smile at everyone I meet and maybe I shouldn't be too open and let anyone in. Funnily enough, I didn't feel like I was too open though. Why that night? Why. Why. Why.  

Waking up everyday feeling empty used to be a norm. Now I wake up feeling guilty. Guilty about my whole existence on this earth. 

& the worst part about all these emotional thoughts is that, you probably won't feel as much because I think way too much into things. 
I don't know what I want. I don't know what's the right thing to do. This will sound selfish but please decide for me because either way I'll hurt a soul. Either way, I'll hurt me too. But that's okay, I'm pretty self-sacrificial.

I visited the Gold Coast last weekend and it was nice. I've never been much of a beach kind of girl but I do miss lying on the beach and just letting go. To be completely honest, Surfers Paradise was too cold when I visited but hey, it was a change of environment for once. 

- Gold Coast, Surfers Paradise Beach, 2017 -

« Previous Entires   Newer Entries »